Friday, July 6, 2012
"Belonging as Blessing"
Being able to say that one has survived is an accomplishment. For many, the power is in the name itself. And yet comes a time in the individuation process when the threat or trauma is significantly past. Then it is time to go on to the next stage after survivorship to healing and thriving.
If we stay as survivors only without moving to thriving, we limit ourselves and cut our energy to ourselves and our power in the world to less than half. One can take so much pride in being a survivor that it becomes a hazard to further creative development. Sometimes people are afraid to continue beyond survivor status, for it is just that-a status, a distinguishing mark, a "damn-straight, bet your buttons, better believe it " accomplishment.
Instead of making survivorship the centerpiece of one's life, it is better to use it as one of many badges, but not the only one. Humans deserve to be dripping in beautiful remembrances, medals, and decorations, for having lived, truly lived and triumphed. Once the threat is past, there is a potential trap in calling ourselves names that have been taken on during the most terrible time of our lives. It creates a mind-set that is potentially limiting. It is not good to base the soul identity solely on the fears and losses and victories of the bad times. While survivorship can make a woman tough as beef jerky, at some point it inhibits new development.
When a woman insists " I am a survivor " over and over again once the usefulness is past, the work ahead is clear. We must loosen the person's clutch on the survivor archetype. Otherwise nothing else can grow. I liken it to a tough little plant that managed- without water, sunlight, nutrients-to send out a brave and ornery little leaf anyway. In spite of it all.
B ut thriving means, now that the bad times are behind, to put ourselves into occasions of the lush, the nutritive, the light, and there to flourish, to thrive with bushy, shaggy, heavy blossoms and leaves. IT IS BETTER TO NAME OURSELVES NAMES THAT CHALLENGE US TO GROW AS FREE CREATURES. THAT IS THRIVING. THAT IS WHAT WAS MEANT FOR US.
~Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D.
6 July, 2012
~In Loving Memory of Lloyd... Thank you, for giving me the Freedom, when it was time for me to go. I Remember... I Remember. Always, ~Beannaichte'